Enslaved: Odyssey to the West (Xbox 360)

As you could tell by both my FecesBook AND by talking to me, I've stumbled upon a new favorite game.
ENSLAVED: ODYSSEY etc...
If you're like me and you've always loved Sun WuKong, the Chinese monkey king, for reasons unknown... then you're gonna love the American take on him! INTRODUCING....


Monkey Pilgrim?

 MONKEYYYYYYY
(note: Monkey does not actually have a real monkey tail, its just a piece of cloth conviniently located near his tail bone, giving the illusion of tail-like properties.(but i draw him with a monkey tail cuz its cute))

*ahem* APPARENTLY- ok here I go APPARENTLY IN DA FYOOCHA WE GUNNA DIE AND SHIT GUNNA HAPPIN. Then um lets see... idk its really confusing so uh look it up on Wikiped if you really care about it.

Basically a really hot jail-bait tech-tard comes out of nowhere, blows shit up with Monkey on it, gets Monkey beat up, enslaves Monkey, and calls Monkey stinky.

<-- tirp.png

That chick is Trip. She's very very hot.

There's a bunch of mechs, or ROBOTS... errwherr dat be killin dem foos who be all up in herr tryain do stuff. They're bad. Oh and also, with the whole slave headband on Monkey... uhuhhh yeahhhh. Like Sun WuKong, Monkey has to obey HurpTerp(Trip) or else Monkey'll get a headache :(

Oh and Turp made this very clear, that if she dies... HE DIES.

<<< rule 34.

So basically its kinda like a fem-dom relationship. Which is hot.

(inb4 like 60 people go out and buy it)

There aren't really any sexual things in the game except for one intimate scene where Monkey, Trip, and Pigsy are all cramped inside a tiny escape pod and--... well, here's the dialogue from what I remember.

Pigsy: MUENKY MOVE YO HAND

Monkey: I CANT

Pigsy: WELL ITS ON MY PENIS

Monkey: *either jacks Pigsy off or squeezes his dick off idk*

Pigsy: *either disgusting moans of pleasure or severe pain idk*

Trip: fuk u 2



In the game



The way I depicted it
















I bet it stinks in there... a lot.

Uuh other than the cutscenes being memorable for years, the whole jumping around and stuff is loads of fun. Of course Monkey would never jump off a cliff (like Ezio, Altair and Faith), its still hilarious to watch him climb around like a monkey.
The basic controls are simple. X to hit shit, A to jump, B to use shit, and Y to hit stuff differently. Also, RB makes Monkey shout 'HEY!!'. Its purpose it to get the attention of a sentry turret so Trip can sneak past it, but you only NEED to use it like once or twice... But of course thats my favorite button. And if you use it at the right time, Monkey can shout 'HAY' during a cutscene.

Trip: wow look at all dese mech--
Monkey: HEY!! yeah theres a lot of them huh.

Oh and heres a plus... you get to pick up Trip and carry her around on your back. Its useful for when she goes into shock and cant move on a collapsing bridge (pussy) and when you're trying to avoid mines that she cant see... ALSO, its great way to show off infront of Pigsy.

Well ok overrall its a great game. Pretty short, but good on achievements. The plot's a little confusing, the characters are lovable, and the scenery is beautiful. AND THE ACTION SCENES ARE SHIT-BRICKS-ABLE

I give it 4 out of 5 scrubb bubbs

da end

Grandabuela

Today my grandma had brain surgery to remove a tumor. I was there at 5 in the morning... it was nice to skip school, but it didn't count as a free day since I finally got out of the hospital at exactly 2:45. Atleast now I have more time to play with Monkey.
WHICH, BY THE WAY, I PLAYED ON NORMAL MODE INSTEAD OF EASY
but all I did was watch the cutscenes and play through the tutorial fff im such a loser anyway uhh

I guess in this blog I'll have to explain the games and characters before I talk the shit out of them.

yep

so liek I just started a blog and im all liek totally excited.